Much blushing

today, well, i guess it is now 'yesterday', debbie and i auditioned for a play. neither of us made it, but that is okay. I wanted to chicken out but...i know it was an opportunity to grow..so i did it..much blushing.
i did my best not to giggle but when the guy I was auditioning with started hitting the table and stealing my lines...i had a hard time holding back.
anyway, from all that...i would like to hope I grew in confidence and in responsibility...which sounds kinda dumb...especially since i didn't get the part...but i figure that it helped me with the state of mind that confidence is a choice. I choose to let things prevent me from doing what i think i can or cannot do.
i also think i was ,ore responsible...though a bit wishi=washy, but i did say I would try and i did. i know it didn't mean anything to people..but...i couldn't force myself, in the end, to not go through with it, no matter how much it worried me.
Changing the subject a wee bit...we went to taco bell to feed our very hungry bellies...when, during dinner...debbie sad that i did something sweet...
i didn't really think it was sweet, just something that ought to have been done....i felt embarrassed about it being any bit of a deal...but o well...i just thought we shouldn't just keep the food because it could have been someone else's and..well, i figured they should bereturned while they were still warm...i don't understand..but debbie is such a great person. she always seems to see the good in people, even in me..though...i know it must be hard.
why can't i see these things in me? i am working on following her advice...hopefully, it will become easier.