Silliness

silly me. i have gotten careless and will now have to suffer from my foolish stupidity. silly me, it would have been easier to reach for a star than to wish for happiness...happiness is something to far above me. a star...a star is something more attainable...something that...something more realistic.
perhaps i have gotten weaker. perhaps i am foolish. i need to regain my strength and give up foolish notions. how could someone like me be happy? that is to laugh.
so why do i feel like crying under the weight of the world? why do i seek to be alone..to cry pathetically...why am i so pathetic? I shouldn't be like this. i should be grateful.
my mum sent me a small token of affection that has made the world to me. she, for a moment, remembered me...remembered me with toughts of love. i have proof that she loves me. written proof. i am loved. I am loved.
so why does it hurt?